Work had been, if satisfying, also quite wearying; when Matt’s phone rang well into the evening, not a common occurrence but hardly rare enough to signal something amiss, he wasn’t in a great rush to answer it. So long as he did so before it went to voicemail, no harm done, right?

When, just after the third ring, he saw the name on the display, he snatched the handset in such a rush that he almost sent it flying.

“Hello?” he called, still scrambling to bring it to his ear.

The voice on the other end was weary, but familiar. “Hey, Matt, it’s Paul. I was just wondering, if you’ve got time, do you think maybe I could drop in for a bit?”

Abrupt and short on pleasantries, but given what had been going on in Paul’s life – the likely cause of that fatigue in his voice – Matt wasn’t surprised. “Sure, that’s no problem,” he said, glancing around his apartment and hurriedly triaging the mess that had built up in it. “When do you think you’ll get here?”

“Actually, I… I’m just outside. I realized I was walking past your building, and I thought, just maybe…”

“That’s fine,” Matt cut in when Paul faltered. Eep – no time to do any cleaning, then. At least it wasn’t to the point that he’d need to keep moving stuff out of the way. “I’ll be right down to get you.”

His exercise regimen was paying off; he tore down five flights of stairs at a speed that was probably unsafe, and landed on the ground floor not even winded, probably in less time than it would’ve taken to wait for the elevator and ride it down even if it was immediately free. The man in the lobby presented a heart-wrenching sight – he could be stunningly handsome with just a little work, but he was unshaven, his black hair an untidy mop, dark eyes showing the strain of his life all too clearly. His posture was hunched as though he was trying to make himself disappear, and his clothes, while nice enough in themselves, were more than a little rumpled. He was a diminished shadow of the man Paul had met years back.

But when he saw Matt pelting through the door, his expression lightened a little, the ghost of a smile touching his mouth, eyes gaining a bit of focus and spark. “Hey,” he murmured, lifting a hand. In the other, he held Matt’s business card – must have been the one Matt had given him years back, with his home phone and address hurriedly scrawled on the back.

“Hey,” Matt greeted in return, reaching up to give Paul’s shoulder a quick squeeze. There was so much he wanted to ask, so much he wanted to say… but even if this visit had been his idea instead of Paul’s, the lobby, or the halls, wouldn’t be the place for it. “Sorry for the wait, but the super doesn’t want us buzzing people in until they’re familiar guests. At least until you can get to my unit without needing to study each door.” He stabbed the Up button by the elevator; with a soft chime, the doors slid open, and Matt waved his guest in.

“That’s fine,” Paul said, still soft-voiced, as he took his place in the elevator. “You didn’t have to rush, it’s okay, really…”

The doors slid shut; as the elevator started up, Matt turned to put both hands on Paul’s shoulders. “Paul, I…” Damn it. So many things he wanted to say, indeed… best to wait until his guest was comfortably settled. “I couldn’t just leave you waiting. For my sake. Okay?”

Again a flicker of a smile. “Okay.” It was acquiescence, rather than understanding and agreement, but that was about all Matt could really expect. He could try to convince the man of it in time; for now, all he could do was reinforce the message when it came up.

There wasn’t much to be said until they’d got to Matt’s apartment. Paul paused just inside the door, looking around with wondering eyes. “Wow,” he breathed. “I’d forgotten what a nice place you had. Bigger than the one I’ve got…” He trailed into silence, tensing somewhat.

“Well, come on in, have a seat,” Matt invited, showing him into the living room. “Want something to drink?”

“That’d be great, thanks.”

Matt started for the kitchen, then paused. “Uh, something strong?” The older man sure looked like he could use it.

“If it’s not too much trouble, sure. Uh, not too strong, though, no hard liquor. Please.”

Just as well, because Matt didn’t have any. He snagged two wineglasses, a bottle of red, and lingered in the kitchen to cut the seal and pop the cork free before bringing wine and glasses into the living room. Paul had taken a seat on the couch, staring off into the middle of the room, his slouch even more obvious, but he looked up, and sat a bit straighter, as he noticed Matt returning.

Well, the couch seemed like an invitation of sorts. Matt set the glasses on the coffee table, poured into both, and sat down beside him. “So what brings you my way?” he asked as he settled himself.

“Just came from the city offices.” Paul sighed, reaching forward and gingerly taking up a glass. “It’s done. It’s finally done, all neat and official. Karl’s moving out east, and we won’t have to have anything to do with each other again.”

“Moving that far, huh? A bit of a surprise,” Matt admitted, “but I’m not complaining.” Seeing what Paul’s now-ex-husband had done to him, Matt would have been just as glad to hear that Karl had gone to Mars, or maybe farther. He took up his own glass. “Here’s to a new life and new opportunities,” he toasted.

“Cheers.” Paul tapped the rim of his glass against Matt’s, and they both drew a generous mouthful. Paul swallowed, let out a long sigh that didn’t sound entirely distressed, and leaned back, looking down at the stemmed glass. “Good stuff,” he said.

“Been saving it for a worthwhile occasion,” Matt explained, turning his own glass gently in his fingers. “This seemed to qualify. So you’ve got a new place, now? I thought the house was yours.” At the start of their marriage, as Matt understood it, Paul had been the primary bread-winner… though that hadn’t remained the case.

“Yeah…” Paul winced, not-quite-covering it with another, smaller sip. “But I just… couldn’t stand it there anymore. I needed out.”

He hadn’t protested the earlier contact, hadn’t objected when Matt had sat right beside him; he didn’t complain now as Matt laid a hand on his knee, giving it what was hopefully a reassuring squeeze. “I guess I’m not really surprised,” he granted. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Paul shook his head, and shifted his weight a little, leaning in against the taller blond. “You were a good friend even when I wasn’t. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if I’d ever have drawn up the courage to speak up and get out.” He took a deep breath. “Thank you. For everything.”

They’d had a connection, years ago, but never been able to act on it with Paul already married and Karl getting increasingly jealous. After the alarming tale told by Paul’s posture, voice, and overall condition, it was such a relief to know he wasn’t going to shrink away now. Matt shifted his glass to his right hand, bringing his left arm around Paul’s shoulders. “If I really helped, I’m so glad,” he murmured. “I always wished I could do more. I knew you were strong, but it hurt to see what you had to endure. And it hurt worse to smile.”

“Well, that’s all done, thank God.” Paul took another sip, leaving his glass mostly empty, and reached up to touch Matt’s jaw. “I always liked seeing you smile. It made me feel like things weren’t all bad.”

Smiling now was not a chore, but the most natural thing in the world. “Then it was all worth it,” Matt assured him.

“See?” Paul smiled back, and scruffy or no, it looked good on him. “That’s one thing I always admired about you – that you could always see something positive in a situation.” He drank down the last mouthful, nodding when Matt waved to the bottle and holding out his glass for a refill. “I’ve got so used to seeing what’s wrong, I’m tired of it. I want to start seeing what’s right.”

Didn’t half expect much, did he? Matt felt his cheeks heat, and turned to top up his own glass. “Well, you’ve certainly seen good stuff in me that’ll be a challenge to live up to!” Paul just smiled up at him and turned back to his wine.

The next glass passed in comfortable silence, broken only by a soft chime of glass on glass for a wordless toast about halfway down. Paul seemed content to lean on Matt, and Matt was certainly pleased to have him there; really, there didn’t seem to be much more to say.

After finishing the second glass, Paul leaned forward to set it down on the coffee table, and as he sat back, sighed softly and turned partway towards Matt, head on the taller man’s shoulder, hand on his thigh. It was a good feeling; a nice, companionable feeling.

It was a rather more intense feeling when Paul’s stroking fingers happened to brush tips over Matt’s groin. He shivered, letting out a groan – soft, even to his own ears, but even he could hear the need in it, just as clearly as he could feel that need suddenly rising. Paul quivered against his side, drawing a deep, quavery breath, and stroked a little more deliberately through Matt’s slacks, making a soft, pleased sound in his throat as the younger man’s cock started to rise. He stretched up, bristles scraping Matt’s cheek as he leaned forward for a kiss.

The wine was strong on Paul’s breath, rich and heady; his own answering need was even more so. His fingers flexed, kneading Matt’s stiffening cock, coaxing it to fuller activity, even as his tongue dabbed at Matt’s lips, then drew back, his own lips parted in an invitation that Matt was only too glad to accept. The moan that slipped into the blond’s mouth made him shiver, and his questing hand found a growing swell in Paul’s jeans, in turn.

When Paul broke the kiss with a gasp, looking down, biting his lip, to fumble with Matt’s belt, some measure of sense reasserted itself, and Matt took gentle hold of his wrist. “Paul…”

The dark-haired man looked up at him, suddenly uncertain. “Matt?” He swallowed, freezing. “I’m s-sorry…”

Oh, hell. “Shh.” Matt touched a finger to his lips, then to Paul’s. “You don’t need to be. I just think we should move a bit more carefully.”

Paul’s gaze broke from his, turning aside. “I… I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered. “I don’t think I really knew how much, until right now…”

“You’re not alone,” Matt assured him. “Believe me, Paul, it’s taking a lot of willpower to keep from taking you to my bed right now, stripping you down, and doing my level best to make you forget your own name, never mind Karl’s. But you’re still hurting. He’s still too fresh on your mind.” If, in his confusion, Paul somehow connected Matt with the ordeal he’d just got out of… that would be heartbreaking. Even if things fell apart less drastically… no. Best to be careful.

Paul hunched over, though at least he didn’t draw away. “I’ve been working so hard to get Karl out of my life,” he whispered. “And now he’s still haunting me. I want to leave him behind me, but I really don’t want to be alone…”

“Shh. You don’t have to be.” Matt placed a light kiss on his brow. “I’m not trying to chase you out the door or anything. If you need some company, if you want to stay here, you can. I’ll stay with you, even. I just think we should hold off on… that.” Much though his cock disagreed with that, it could just shut up and endure a cold shower; this was one thing he did not want to screw up through overeagerness.

Paul drew an unsteady breath. After a moment, he turned to meet Matt’s gaze again. “Right with me?”

Not for any money could Matt have turned down that anxious whisper. “Right with you,” he promised. “If you think it wouldn’t be too much of a tease, I’d be only too happy to be skin on skin, right behind you.”

“Spooning up for the night?” His voice steadier now, Paul managed a small smile. “That sounds nice.”

And hopefully he wouldn’t tease himself to distraction, being so close to someone who’d so long been unattainable. “It’s a date,” he said, smiling back. “Have you already eaten? I can heat up something quick. Or we could just go right to cleaning up and getting some rest.”

“I could use a bite,” Paul admitted.

Macaroni and cheese didn’t make for the most romantic of late-evening meals, but Paul didn’t seem to have any complaints. The conversation was light, shying away from deeper, more painful matters and staying safe and easygoing, occasionally daring to be a bit flirty but even then staying lighthearted; not once did Paul try to push for more than he’d yet been offered, or make another move to deepen things on his own initiative.

Paul looked much better for a quick shower, and Matt found that smelling his own shampoo on the five-years-older man was shockingly appealing; despite the intervening time, his own shower definitely ran cold, and he spent a few chilly minutes sternly reminding himself not to screw this up.

He wasn’t quite so confident of his own body’s ability to keep to that plan that he slid under the covers naked, but he was down to his boxers, Paul much the same. It did feel nice to have the shorter man against him, shoulders shifting slightly with his breath, and Matt’s fingers idly stirred Paul’s dusting of chest hair.

Best not to think too much about what they were missing right now. There would, after all, be time for it later; they didn’t need to rush. After all, he wasn’t trying to tell the man “no,” just “later.”

And by the way Paul nestled against him, he was thoroughly aware of that now.

Presently, the steady pace of Paul’s breaths made plain that he was sleeping soundly. Matt shifted carefully to settle without sleeping on an arm, closed his eyes, and drifted off as well, into dreams where the roving hands on the couch hadn’t been brought to an early halt.

Dreams or no, they were good times.